Today marks exactly one month until my time on study abroad comes to a close, and with panicked feelings of what the hell will life be once this is all over, and sad feelings of how fast time has gone yet how much I've done, I feel it's fitting to write this blog post. Especially before these final four weeks of packing up my life, sitting finals and trying to have final blowouts with all the best people in the world just escalates into total mayhem.
It's fair to say that 2012, although difficult, was the greatest year of my life. Despite at the start of 2012 feeling like that could not be further from the truth. After losing someone important in my life and everything I'd known for a long time being turned on its head, my decision to come to Canada felt extremely pressured. I knew sacrifices I was making and how much I was going to have to change and learn to depend on myself to make my moving away the best decision of my life.
Although I'd been dreaming of study abroad since I even considered coming to university, I found myself telling people 'I might be going to Canada next year!' and 'I think I'm doing study abroad, how exciting!'. I had my place, but I told myself 'You still not might get the grades.' I worked my absolute arse off and got the grades. Then came housing. After ignoring the deadline for residence telling myself 'You can get a house when you get there' still nothing was tying me to this year. Then came booking the flight, exactly 10 weeks before I was due to leave. And that was when everything changed. I have NEVER freaked out as much as I did that night, and I can remember it so well. The months of saving had a meaning and now I had to tell people 'I'm moving to Canada in September' and suddenly everything was very scary and real and I just sat in my room silently going 'WAAAAAA' and flapping my hands. I say silently, I tell a lie.
10 weeks of, surprisingly, one of the best summers flew by, and before I knew it it was one week to go and the goodbyes were coming in thick and fast. It rained on the last day in England (obviously), and I remember one of the saddest parts was on the final day being in the pub with my friends (obviously) drinking and eating burgers (obviously) when I had to say goodbye and I walked home bawling my eyes out in the pouring rain. I wish I could say I had a sad song in my head but all I could think of was the lesbians in the Tatu video when they're in the rain all soaking and lesbian-y, but all this did was make me sadder because I knew my friends would understand why that made me sadder. Because I was REALLY scared of having to start all over and make new friends, something you don't expect to have to do in your third year of university. And I'm a bit weird.
But we made it, and we got here, and I fell in love with this country. And it was terrifying but exciting and incredible. We made it to little London, found a house, found furniture, bought our pots and pans and food, found our way and found friends. And let me tell you - moving into a house and finding friends is hard. You take residence for granted, at least 40 people are your neighbours just waiting to be your friends! I put the friendships I've made this year down to Canadians and their culture. They truly are the most friendly, wonderful and selfless people, with genuine interest in what people have to say whilst being genuinely interesting themselves. Many of my friendships have been made from somebody just starting chatting to me in the street, or at a bar, or in a toilet, and it's this kind of friendliness I feel I've learnt a lot from this year and want to change when I return.
I can't remember exactly what I thought Canada would be like, but I did write a note to myself before I left, as a sort of bucket list, but also to remind myself what I thought this year was going to be and what I should make it. So without further ado, here are my expectations and the reality that has come with them;
EXPECTATION: Canada is basically just England
REALITY: You'd think because two countries speak the same language, have the same Queen and are part of the British Empire, they'd be basically the same. Another expectation down to my ignorance, and I got the culture shock of my life thanks to this. From the money and the tax to the classes and the etiquette, so many things are so different from the UK, some I prefer and some I don't, but everything has helped open my eyes and view everything very differently, leading to...
EXPECTATION: I would love Canada and want to live here
REALITY: I love Canada and want to live here.. but can England come too? There's nothing like leaving your home country for a year to make you appreciate how much home is really home. England is actually one of the coolest places - you can fit the UK into one of Canada's lakes (they're more like oceans) and twice as many people live in England than do Canada. This means you can travel for 40 minutes and be in a totally different region, with different accents, rules and cultures. The tiny little country has so much crammed into it, something I didn't realise until I came over here. Also, there are just things about England you love and don't realise until you leave, and I feel like fellow study-abroaders and long term travellers may be the only ones who can see that, as it's hard to explain. However, Canada is the most beautiful country with the most amazing people and lifestyle, and I'd like to say I'll be brave enough to fly the nest for good and make it over here. But we'll see.
EXPECTATION: I would make a few Canadian friends
REALITY: I made so many friends! As mentioned earlier, this is mainly down to Canadians and their nature. But what I didn't expect is to make some amazing English friends, something of even more value than I would have thought before I came here, as I can easily continue these friendships once I leave. Now I'll go back to Leeds with a whole new group of friends as well as my old favourites which is an amazing concept which I just didn't think about before I came.
EXPECTATION: I would learn to ski
REALITY: I LEARNT TO SKI! Well, if you can call it skiing. I call it being able to get myself down a mountain without falling and/or dying, but apparently this is skiing! And it's so much fun, and I wish I'd had the money and time to get myself more runs at Boler and improve, but with a trip to Whistler in the pipeline for travelling I'm praying there will be snow there to get on the slopes one more time.
EXPECTATION: I would travel
REALITY: I have most definitely travelled. In fact, we thought we'd fit in a bit of the East coast of the USA once school was over and that would be it, but I have been to more places I'd have been able to imagine back in August. I've made it to two national parks, Montreal, Mont-Tremblant, Toronto countless times, New York City, Chicago, Washington DC, the friendly towns of Hamilton and Kitchener, to Canada's Wonderland, to Niagara Falls, and so much more I can't even remember now, all whilst sitting a running total of 20 exams and many classes. And with our final leg of travelling being booked this week, let's just say the West coast of the USA and Canada will be having many a visit. I think I can tick off travelling!
EXPECTATION: I would change
REALITY: I have changed, yet I haven't changed. I didn't expect to 'find myself' this year, because what does that even mean? But I have realised from the past year and a bit that I'm very independent and actually am very capable of looking after myself, no matter how difficult the situation. I have obtained a new outlook on life that makes you appreciative of things you never considered before. I appreciate home, my family, my friends more than ever. I also appreciate I'm lucky enough to have got this opportunity. But I'm proud of myself because in the end I did get myself here, because I applied and worked hard and saved money and organised everything myself with little to no help. I didn't ask for help, but it was nice to know it was there if I wanted it. I did pierce my ears, and I now weirdly love Psychology, and I have got a horrific case of the travelling bug, but they're the biggest changes anyone will see. I am still the exact same person, literally the same, if anything I have become more hideously embarrassing and awkward than ever. Yay.
EXPECTATION: I would get an accent
REALITY: I have the exact same accent as before. Still people can't understand me. Wah.
EXPECTATION: I would get fit and healthy because I would have no money to spend on burgers.
REALITY: Meeehhhhhhh... nobody gets fitter on study abroad right? And there are too many burgers here. And bagels. And beer. ALLLLL the B's.
EXPECTATION: I would grow up and stop drinking so much
REALITY: Keggers, whilst being in my top 5 favourite things about Canada, ruin lives and this weekend I removed some of my more essential clothes at the front door and slept on the couch with the see-through curtain draped over my head whilst throwing Jenny's food all over the kitchen and drunk calling anyone and everyone. WHYYYYYYYYY
EXPECTATION: This year will be the best ever ever (word-for-word quote from my note)
REALITY: This year has been the best ever ever and I don't want to go home and go back to real reality. I want to go back to August and do it all again the exact same and I am SO JEALOUS of anyone going to do this next year. I would maybe change one tiny little thing about my year though, leading onto my final expectation...
EXPECTATION: I would see a moose
REALITY: WHERE ARE ALL THE FUCKING MOOSE/MOOSI/MOOSES/MOOSAYS/WHAT IS THE PLURAL OF MOOSE
30 days left, let's make it incred.
